A St Bernard and a Chihuahua
by I. M. Frelling-Wonko
Summary: Vala asks Rodney to clear something up for her.


I've always been amused by a friendship between these two so I decided to team them up in a story. Hope you like it.

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**Disclaimer: **Don't own it. Wish I did, but I don't.

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**Spoiler Warnings:** Small ones for S10 Ep3 _The Pegasus Project_.

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**A St. Bernard and a Chihuahua**

"Dr. McKay!"

Rodney turned at the sound of his name to see the dark-haired woman from SG-1 running to catch up with him. What was her name? It didn't matter as he had no time to spare her.

"Yes?" he asked in a tone that clearly said "hurry up and go away" but this woman didn't seem at all affected by it as she stopped in front of him with a huge smile on her face. He tapped a foot, waiting for her to speak.

"I was hoping you could clear something up for me."

"I really don't have a lot of time, Miss..." he trailed off, hoping his failure to even remember her name would make her go away. No such luck, though. He had to give her points for persistence.

"Call me Vala." she said with her smile firmly in place. "And this won't take long. We can even walk as we talk."

Rodney sighed but felt he had no choice but to humour her. He started walking at a rapid pace but she kept right up with him. Another point in her favour. "Okay, what is it?"

"Earlier, in the briefing, you were rudely cut off before you could explain to me the difference between a St. Bernard and a Chihuahua. What _is_ the difference?"

Rodney was actually shocked that she would come to him on such a trivial matter. People tended to avoid asking him anything that didn't have to do with his job. He wasn't the type others liked to socialise with. He knew he could be long-winded and they simply didn't have the patience to stick around for his explanations. Was she setting him up? Looking at her, he found that she wore a look of guileless curiosity. She didn't _look_ like she was playing him for a fool so he shrugged and decided it was safe to answer her.

"Well, they're both dogs. You know what dogs are, right?" he asked, hoping he didn't have to get into _that _explanation.

"Oh, yes." She nodded enthusiastically. "I've seen them on television."

"Good. Well, a St. Bernard is a very large dog, standing as tall as some people when on its hind legs." Her awed gasp only proved to bolster his own enthusiasm so he continued. "A Chihuahua, on the other hand, is very tiny. Some people actually carry them in bags, something I'll never understand. It doesn't seem at all sanitary. Anyway, it's body mass is usually smaller than the head of a St. Bernard. So you can see why the size difference would matter." By the time he finished his explanation, they were standing in front of his lab but he didn't even take notice. She was staring at him with a look of fascination that made him want to preen.

"Well, thank you for taking the time to explain this to me, Dr. McKay."

"You're welcome, and it's Rodney. I don't understand why you didn't just ask Jackson, though."

"Oh, Daniel said he didn't have time to answer such a silly question."

Rodney saw the look of hurt in her eyes at being ignored and he felt an uncharacteristic kinship with her. "Well, if you have any more, feel free to ask. You know where I am."

"Well, if you have the time now, there are a few things about your culture you may be able to clear up for me."

Rodney took a moment to consider this. There really wasn't anything too important it couldn't wait an hour or two. "I have some time. Why don't we go to the mess hall for a snack. I always think better with food."

Vala's grin was blinding as she tucked her arm through his and led him down the corridors to the mess. If his chest was a bit puffed-up and his step a little livelier, then so be it. Someone was actually consulting _his_ expertise on something other than science. Why shouldn't he be proud?

"Could you explain the idea behind a child staying up all night the eve before Christmas? What exactly _is _Christmas?"

"It's a holiday celebrated..."

Across the hall, Daniel, Cam and John watched the odd duo with something akin to disturbed shock.

"Should we be worried about this?" Cam asked.

"Uh...Hmm..." was all Daniel could say.

John was the first to recover from his stupefaction. "Don't worry. I'll make sure Rodney's ego gets a good tearing down after you guys leave."

If John sounded doubtful about his ability to do this, no one said a word. They simply continued to watch the two until they disappeared, all feeling a sense of apprehension.


End file.
